February 11, 2004

Confessions of an AO

Yes, the time stamp on this entry is correct. I decided to write this up after I got back from my shift, because I figured after I went to sleep, I wouldn't ever have any recollection of wanting to write it in the first place.

I got to do a walk-through of a building tonight, meaning you check every single floor. Aside from being a welcome reprieve from the cold weather, it gives me insight to realize that some girls really have no personality whatsoever. What do guys have on their doors? They have awesome pictures of a beached aircraft carrier in BF1942. They have signs that say "If you slip more crap under my door I will KICK YOUR ASS". They have printed-out comic strips, including, but not limited to, the classic wang hanger, can wang and a strip where Agent Smith decides to multiply himself by using the old "up up down down left right left right B A" code. What do girls have on their doors? "Sally and Shannon are AWESOME!" "Kelly and Linda rule! (heart) (heart) (heart)" Took both of you to come up with that, huh? It makes me believe that Teen Girl Squad is less a parody and more a documentary.

By around 6:30 a.m., it becomes woefully obvious that your attempt to stuff yourself with five-cheese lasagna at 11:30 p.m. has failed and you are indeed famished again after many hours of walking. In a cruel twist of fate, that also happens to be when the Frito-Lays truck pulls up and the driver begins delivering packages to the dining hall. If I were to bludgeon that man, hop into the truck and take the spoils home with me, I don't think there's a jury on earth that would convict me.

Finally, it's all over and you head back to your car in the parking garage, taking note of the birds inside the structure that you can hear, but not see. Just before you exit the garage, you wonder why they're getting loud enough to drown out your radio...at which point you realize that you are no longer hearing the birds, but your irreprehensibly squeaky fan belt. You decide that it is indeed time to return to the comforts of home and hide in your bed where nothing can reach you.

This is your life when you join the RHSU.

Posted by Gene at February 11, 2004 07:32 AM